It is kind of an eerie feeling to receive a note from someone unknown to me who wants to be my friend. I wonder what leads to such requests. I always look to see what connections may have prompted this invitation. In most cases the link becomes obvious, the person virtuous, and the contact harmless. If I turn down the request, which is easily done, what kind of a jerk am I?
On the other hand, if I agree to be a "friend" to such as these what does that say about the meaning and significance of friendship? I discovered a fellow traveler in a New York Times piece by David Carr, "Hey Friend, Do I Know You?" Carr's questions mirror my own. He writes:
As we speak, my Facebook page, a couple of months old, is crawling past 200 friends. There are people on there whom I have known since they wore skinny ties and distressed sport coats, and there are others whom I would not know if they walked up with name tags the size of sandwich boards. But we have friends in common, and in the parlance of social media, we are connected.The whole piece is well worth reading. I know that this new era of social networking is causing a fresh assessment of relationships, a new map that has the potential of building bridges of peace. Of course, one must also acknowledge that there is a darker side that must be monitored as well. That which heals us can also harm us.
So we'll see how this goes. There is much here to engage us in thoughtful reflection about relationships, community, and human worth.
I am glad to have new friends. However, if I fail to send a Christmas card I trust you'll understand.
Interesting that a blogger has such reservations about Facebook friends. Facebook, unlike blogging, gives you complete control over who you do an don't add. If you don't add someone it doesn't tell them, it just "ignores" them. However, with blogging, anyone can find you anywhere as you're open to the world.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it is the word FRIEND that makes all the difference? After all, the people who are your friends on Facebook aren't doing anything more than some random statistic that visits your blog, are they? There isn't any more harm or damage that can be done if you don't list your contact information on Facebook - it's just another means of contact. Perhaps there is such a connection to the word FRIEND that has an emotional meaning above and beyond just someone reading your blog. If Facebook called it "contact" would it be less of an issue? I bet it would.
I look at Facebook as a way to contact people that I've lost touch with, or perhaps even a place to network. Recently an old friend of mine from college decided to move back to the area and saw I was in her field of work. She asked if I had any ideas of where she might look for a job. I gave her several references and started helping her network. Now, back in college we were acquaintances but not great friends. We knew each other so I we added each other as Facebook friends, which then resulted in the contact and, I would be, has now opened the door for a future friendship. It helped us get to know each other better by helping each other out.
I think that's part of the network magic of social networking and Facebook is good at it.
But don't even get me started on MySpace... that's a whole other story. :)
I do My Space too but not as well as my blog. It is all I can do to keep up with it.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading yours, Grant, and also Nicholas'.
I hope Facebook doesn't take you away from this blog, Grant.
ReplyDeleteThere's an application on Facebook called "Six Degrees of Seperation." Something about finding as many connections as possible through Facebook. I think we will find it is really "One Degree of Seperation."
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments, Margie. I will continue to post to my blog, which I use for longer and more substantive reflections. Those will sometimes be linked to Facebook but certainly will not replace the blog.
ReplyDelete