Today I completed over two months of day-long care of my 5 1/2 months old granddaughter Ashley. Her parents needed someone to watch her so my daughter-in-law could fulfill her teaching contract. To meet that need they gifted me with the opportunity to care for her during that time. Lyda will now stay home and be a full-time mom. I will return to self care, something undoubtedly needful but far less fun without Ashley.
I have asked for joint custody. Those negotiations are not going well.
Just before taking on this responsibility I pondered what it was going to be like and even wrote some initial anticipations in this blog. The actual experience far exceeded my fondest hopes. My time with Ashley was memorable beyond words and will be forever inscribed on my soul.
So what did I learn?
Well, on one level I discovered that child care utensils and practices are considerably different than when I last dabbled with infants and toddlers in the 1970's. I believe that using our car seat from that era might be a felony today. And there were other things...
--Diaper pins have been replaced by velcro. What's the fun in that? And just as you learn that proper diaper tautness is assured by positioning the velcro tabs on Cookie Monster's ears, here comes Bert and Ernie requiring completely different diaper geometry.
--I learned that with some extra effort it is possible for a baby's head to fit through the armhole of their little outfits. That knowledge, however, is not as appreciated as you would hope.
--I imagine there are some parents who are like me in wondering how a cute little girl can follow a feeding with a belch that topples the figurine on the bookcase across the room. I have researched this and am pleased to report that there is no evidence that such a capability leads to an adolescence involving tattoos, Harley Davidson jackets, or the cultivation of sweet smelling plants in the backyard.
--Here's a quick tip. When putting on a baby's sock it is preferable to get all five toes, including the little one, inside the sock before pulling it halfway up the calf.
--And finally, the $55 tanks of gas in my Camry have got me to wondering about capturing the energy generated by a baby's kicking feet during diaper changes--especially the ones involving you know what. Forget solar energy. You could heat your house if you just tapped a portion of that kicking action.
Ashley made me laugh, but she also made me think about important things. More about that next time.
All of these lessons are SOOOO true!! I'm so glad you enjoyed your time with her. While there won't be any joint custody I am willing to discuss visitation rights. :)
ReplyDeletePerhaps Ashley will have to write at some point about all the things she learned from her grandpa (i.e. the various sounds farm animals can make). :)
Grandchildren are a lot of fun until they become teenagers. I had our youngest granddaughter this past summer because of a tragic divorce in our family...and it wasn't near as much fun as you seemed to have, Grant. She is beautiful and that created a problem with boys.
ReplyDeleteFrom the looks of your Ashley, Lyda may learn all about that some day too.
Oh, Margie, I'm sorry to see you write those words. I know that raising kids can be tough, especially in the teenage years. Everyone's experience is different, but I hope your granddaughter doesn't know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI know that watching Ashley is not as tough as dealing with the complex world our teens have to cope with. We had great fun when our kids were teenagers. I will continue to believe that Brian and Lyda, supported by family and friends, will do their very best to give Ashley every opportunity to succeed at every phase of life.
There are no guarantees, but I think a positive, proactive approach will at least increase the odds. If our viewpoint is negative I'm sure many teens will live down to our expectations. Likewise, a positive outlook can sometimes kindle the same attitude in a kid.
Lyda, I will look forward to negotiating visitation opportunities. I can assure you that I have many other things to offer just as good as those barnyard animal sounds, hard as that may be to believe.
ReplyDeleteWe have only just begun.
Margie, judging from your comments from time to time on this blog it sounds like you've had a rough go of things from time to time.
ReplyDeleteI assure you that there is alot of good in this world to see as well and I would certainly urge you to look for it in everything.
I realize that I don't have your experience, and I think the younger you get the more joyful you are (as experience by my new daughter) - but sometimes it helps to stop and take a look at that joy and remember that we're born as joyful beings and sometimes it's the ridiculous earthly things that consume us.
Often those aren't things that are even worth the time we spending worrying about them.
I'm sure I'll have my share of issues with a teenage daughter but I think it's still ok for us to celebrate the joys that we have both now and then without focusing too much on the hard times.
That's how I want to choose to see things.
Great post today Dad, had me laughing out loud!
I would just like to say, that your grandaughter is one of the cutest babies I've seen in awhile. And I am NOT one to gush over babies very much. Generally I only think MY baby is cute. However, I stand corrected. Ashley is surely a doll. 2nd only to MINE! haha
ReplyDeleteP.S. FINALLY YOU ARE BACK. Obama is nominated and where have you been? kootchy kooing no doubt!
I agree with the idea of visitation rights :D I enjoy my grandsons. Although they can put there own socks on and they no longer put their heads in their sleeve, although i understand it is an great experience, one that makes you laugh, and laughter is what keeps us young, besides kids.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I totally enjoyed my boys in their teen years, it was the best time ever. they had a voice and thought process and it was enjoyable to hear what they thought about things.
it's important that kids voice their thoughts and that they know that they were heard. Enjoy every minute kids grow up so fast.
Brian,
ReplyDeleteI apologize if I offended you with my remarks.
I assure you I have a great deal of fun even at my age.
Ashley (our Ashley) and I had a good time even in the midst of trying to deal with the difficulties created by this awful divorce and the drama she created for herself in her senior year.
She and her brother handled everything as well as possible under such adverse circumstances.
I only hope and pray you never have to deal with such things.
Your granddaughter is adorable and I think she favors her grandpa in looks! We can learn a lifetime of things from our grandchildren and have such fun doing it. During our daughters'teen years, I wasn't sure if we were going to kill her or if she was going to kill us first. It was a very, very tumultous time and not always good. She now is a single mom and she and her daughter live with us. We burst with pride as we watch her step up in a difficult situation (Dad isn't much interested in the baby or mom)and be an incredible mother to our incredible granddaughter. Just three short years ago, I would have never thought this would be possible. Somehow or other, some of our teachings did get through to her. Raeleigh might not have much of a dad, but she has an awesome mom! Grant, I'm not sure if the five toes in a sock is a man thing or not, but Raeleigh's grandpa has trouble remembering that she has a little tiny toe that does belong in the sock with all of the other ones! Enjoy this time as it goes much too fast, it seems that Raeleigh was just born yesterday and she is already 8 months old and the light of our lives.
ReplyDelete