Okay, it was admittedly a battery-powered wheelchair, but it gave me pause nonetheless. I thought I was moving at a brisk pace and now this guy leaves me in his dust.
At the very same time I was listening to NPR on a radio strapped around my waist. They were doing a remarkable interview on autism. Suddenly I felt like some force in the universe was ganging up on me. Here I was feeling a little self-righteous about doing a regular exercise routine. I thought about how much self-talk it sometimes takes me to do my daily regimen, especially when my walking partner isn't available to offer the accountability (read "guilt") we provide each other.
Then unexpectedly I'm confronted with the faces and voices of people who really have been dealt a lousy hand, who really do arise each day to challenges I can only imagine. I looked at how they've managed and it shamed me.
Hopefully it also empowered me. I've always been fairly adaptable to new situations, but that is usually in the form of coping with culture shock while traveling, eating different kinds of cuisine, or dealing with road construction detours without denouncing everyone from the guy on the bulldozer to the governor. (I usually just start with the goveror and let the other guys off the hook.)
But sometmes I wonder if I have what it takes if it comes to the truly life-changing disabilites and tragedies that so many people have to deal with. Perhaps we never know until it happens. It seems like it's worth pondering now and then, however.
This morning after the guy in the wheelchair passed me I walked an extra lap and stepped up the pace a bit. Just seemed like the thing to do.
Technorati tags: disabilities autism coping
This weekend I spent some time with my aunt who has stage 4 colon cancer. The cancer has spread to most of her internal organs and she is most likely going to enter Hospice care in the next few weeks. I spent time with her in the hospital, where I found her sleeping in her bed, on her side, a skeleton of the woman I knew a few months ago. I sat with her, held her hand, bathed her sore body, rubbed her aching back, and listened to her moan in her sleep when her body betrayed her with deep pain. But through it all, she remained the same smart, curious, funny woman Ive known for many years. She told the nurses I was her daughter, even though I am not. Even in her pain, and her fuzzy morphine induced reality, she still could ask about me, my family, and my dreams and aspirations. We laughed, we cried, we cherished the silence that passed between us. We shared Holy Communion with the volunteer Eucharistic minister from the hospital.....Human beings are incredibly strong and resilient at dealing with what is dealt to them....Hope, faith, and love seem to carry us through, no matter the cirucumstance....
ReplyDeleteThanks for a sensitive and thoughtful post. It is certainly true that there is a resilience in the human spirit that can be quite remarkable. Sometimes our fear of what might come can be more disabling than the actual experience when it comes. We shortchange ourselves and others. Your post rightfully points to the possibilities within us.
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