This procedure was done at the urging of an overly cautious physician who wanted to see what might be causing my somewhat erratic sleep patterns. I didn't need to have my appendages hooked up to a computer to tell her the answer--"It's the blinking pills you've got me on, Doc!" But I played along, although not without muttering Robert Frost's line "miles to go before I sleep" to everyone within earshot.
I slept through the night and managed to avoid strangling on the cords when I shifted position. There's now a database somewhere that has recorded not only every turn of my pillow but the tonal qualities of my breathing. I hope they're paying that technician on the night shift good money.
We have funny ideas about sleep. Those who follow the adage "Early to bed and early to rise..." usually have an attitude of superiority toward those of us who are just warming up at 11pm. Never mind that they're toast before the evening news. There is apparently something virtuous about greeting the rising sun and sipping coffee on your porch when the newspaper skids across your driveway at 4am.
As I have got older I admit that I find the early morning more welcoming, even if I have only logged three or four hours of sleep. I figure that not being a pattern sleeper helps me cross time zones without severe jet lag and adapt without a hitch to daylight saving time. And late night television is a cultural experience everyone should have. The deals on Veg-A-Matics and Belly Busters are phenomenal.
Our cats have it figured out. If they get sleepy they just drop everything, plunk down wherever they are, and take a nap. People think that's "cute" in felines. But we humans have to suffer the scorn of others if we are caught dozing during a movie or showing signs of rapid eye movement during the preacher's most recent condemnation of everything that sounds interesting.
And so we go to sleep clinics to make sure some medical thing isn't preventing us from having a blissful night of rest. But usually it is not about that at all. Sometimes we sleep to avoid what we have to face when we're awake. And often that is no escape whatsoever because all those issues are waiting for us in the land of dreams where even the computer probes cannot go.
Sleep is kind of a personal thing. It's all a part of our complex system of mind, body, and spirit. I don't think the computers get it, but I'll listen politely to the results of my test. And I'll try not to doze off.
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